Perhaps you guys may understand...

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Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Dazed on Thu Jun 05, 2014 3:25 am

Hey. As you can see, I'm Dazed. But from what? Well, that's a long story.

I'm posting this topic here on this site for two specific reasons.

1. You guys are furries.
2. You guys are Mormon.

As such, you're all in a unique position where you can understand exactly where I'm coming from with this. *sigh* Sad to say, I have a somewhat unique problem. There's no real delicate way to say this so I'm just gonna say it. I'm addicted to porn of the furry variety. And the reason I'm referring to furry porn as if it's separate from normal porn is because I believe that it's much harder to break away from because,

1. you can get most, if not all of it, for free
2. it's very easy to get to
3. it's in COPIOUS quantities
4. it's massively varied
5. it's well drawn (Not all adult art/lit but a very decent amount nonetheless.)
6. and it's unreal (This means no one had to degrade themselves IRL to make it. The fantasies are completely contained between you and the artists themselves.)

And if that wasn't enough, the fandom itself has a lot of nice people in it, making it difficult to break away from it just for that reason alone.

All of these factors are against me every time I try to stop and leave this fandom. I tried to be active while not looking at such mature art when I was first learning about the fandom and why I was a furry. But I had to learn the hard way that the fandom is mostly focused on physical form. It's almost impossible to be active and continue to stay away from the adult aspect of it if you're attracted to anthros.

Tired of failing all the time to quit porn and the fandom, I finally decided to just give up and try again later when I had more will to do it. As time went by after this decision though, I began to notice some things which worried me even more. I felt like I was becoming two beings instead of one. Part of me knew doing this was wrong and looked on in disappointment at myself while another part of me resented the guilt I felt and wanted to be completely free of this to fully enjoy the large amounts of pleasure that my actions and my chaotic imagination brought.

I do have a very strong testimony of the truth of the church though which has allowed me to still follow a lot of commandments even though I was and still am enthralled in this fandom's sinful aspects. This is keeping me from my mission and I know I should stop. I know that the Lord offers something much better than this pleasure if I could just repent, but it's now getting really hard to even start on the path when a part of me really doesn't want to do such and keeps pulling me back to these animalistic desires. I feel trapped but a part of me doesn't want to escape.

Anyway, sorry for all the drama, but there's no where else really locally or on the internet I feel I could discuss this. My local church doesn't have any real experience with this specific situation besides normal porn, and other non-christian furries... well... They're not helping at all and keep telling me my church is holding me back from 'normal and perfectly natural tendencies that should be indulged in.' Ugh.
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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Ellen-Natalie on Thu Jun 05, 2014 8:57 pm

I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult time with this. I don't want to risk starting debates or arguments on a public thread, especially over something so personal to you. I'm nowhere near any kind of expert on this subject, but I'll send you a PM later tonight in case you're interested in talking more.
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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Dazed on Thu Jun 05, 2014 10:41 pm

Ellen-Natalie wrote:I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult time with this. I don't want to risk starting debates or arguments on a public thread, especially  over something so personal to you. I'm nowhere near any kind of expert on this subject, but I'll send you a PM later tonight in case you're interested in talking more.
Oh, don't worry. I'm very easy to approach and am almost impossible to offend. I love honesty. Speak your mind and I will listen.

If anyone has anything to say about my predicament, no matter what it is, I'd love to hear it. Even if it's just to say that I'm being pathetic and I need to toughen up. It's all good.
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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Latrans on Mon Jun 09, 2014 1:18 am

I'm a couple days late here. Sorry about that. The hazards of attending a convention with the family. Anyways, I'm going to drop you a PM as well soon if you don't mind. Cool 
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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Dazed on Mon Jun 09, 2014 10:18 am

Latrans wrote:I'm a couple days late here. Sorry about that. The hazards of attending a convention with the family. Anyways, I'm going to drop you a PM as well soon if you don't mind. Cool 

That's absolutely fine.
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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Mr. Cardinal on Sat Jun 21, 2014 6:11 am

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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Dazed on Sat Jun 21, 2014 12:37 pm

Mr. Cardinal wrote:May I recommend reading this?  confused 

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2009/05/11/the-problem-with-porn/

That is a good read. Thanks. Hm, in terms of furry porn, 2. doesn't really apply since, as I said in the OP, the fantasies are completely contained between you and the artist, but that's about it.

Do you have any personal experience in fighting this then at all?
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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Cutekitty on Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:56 pm

I don't have personal experience with porn. I am also not a Mormon, and I do not consider myself a furry, though I like anthropomorphic animal art. However, I do know what it's like to have a persistent habit or compulsion, so perhaps I can offer some advice from that perspective.

What you have sounds to me like a habit or what I would call a psychological addiction. Habits aren't quite the same as physical addictions, but they're still pretty blasted hard to break because an established habit has become the mind's default setting--the autopilot, if you will. Breaking a habit involves continuously making conscious choices over a long period of time until the autopilot becomes rewired, and that's tough, especially when doing the habitual behavior would bring you pleasure in the short term (which is almost always the case--if not because pleasure enticed you to form the habit in the first place, then because you've conditioned yourself to find pleasure or relief in the habit). It requires, as Professor Moody would say, CONSTANT VIGILANCE.

To break a habit, you first have to decide that it's worth the effort, that the habit's a problem that's too significant to ignore or live with. No one but you can make up your mind on that matter, and until--or unless--you make it with ironclad firmness, the habit stays. It's not a matter of can or can't; it's a matter of want, choice, and do or not do.

I think this is the hardest and most important step. If you're not utterly convinced that your habit's harmful and needs to go, none of my advice that follows matters. I cannot tell you whether or not you should take that step, but I do think that if you believe the habit harms you or people around you, then you should break it.

Once you've made the resolution to break the habit, it becomes a matter of breaking the task down into smaller daily resolutions. In your case, for example, you may say, "Okay, today I'm going to avoid all sites that contain pornographic material." Check yourself every time you come close to entering such a site or viewing such material. If you slip up, don't consider it a lost cause for the day. Don't give up. Instead, immediately correct yourself and make a new resolution. Give yourself no quarter. (You see why conviction is so important here, yes?)

If the desire to slip keeps cropping up in your mind, try to distract yourself by doing something else. Physical activity's probably your best bet because it requires your full attention. [Edit: Well... it fully occupies your body, more like; it has to be interesting and challenging enough to occupy your mind as well. Some less physical activities may also serve for your purposes, as long as, again, it's interesting and challenging enough to keep your mind busy.] It also helps to have friends who can do some of the checking for you. They can remind you of your resolutions and encourage you, and sometimes, that support makes a world of difference.

Also take note of when you're most tempted to go back to your habit. Are their certain visual triggers? Do what you can to diminish or avoid them. Do you fall upon your habit when you're bored or idle? That's part of why physical activity, like jogging or doing yoga or what have you, can be so helpful; it gets rid of boredom (edit: that also goes for less physical alternative activities). As a bonus, it's good for your health.

Lastly, I'll say this: you can avoid pornographic material and still participate in certain furry communities. The Furry Experience forums are a prime example. As for the nice people you've already met, would it be possible to communicate with them outside of the context of pornographic art? Maybe they like some "cleaner" art as well or play a game you like; in that case, you might not have to give up the connections you've made, if you really want to maintain them.

Ultimately, it's up to you if you want to kick your habit, and whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck.

Edit 2: Also, it looks like you already have plenty of awesome folks to talk to, but if you want to discuss this further with me as well (or chastise me for sloppiness/inconsistency in terminology; I'm really talking about compulsions or psychological addictions throughout this post, not just any type of habit, aren't I? ^^; ), feel free to shoot me a PM. I don't bite. cat
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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Dazed on Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:02 am

Cutekitty wrote:I don't have personal experience with porn. I am also not a Mormon, and I do not consider myself a furry, though I like anthropomorphic animal art. However, I do know what it's like to have a persistent habit or compulsion, so perhaps I can offer some advice from that perspective.

snip

Thanks for all the advice. I appreciate all of it. I don't think I can maintain about 90% of the friendships I currently have though with other furries though if I do decide to finally split off from this. This is because I converse with them through either the forum or chat. And in such channels, sexual things are brought up with too much regularity. And the problem is, they didn't force me to join them initially. I was the one who registered and started to talk about this stuff with them on the forums. I was the one who went onto the chat and allowed myself to be pulled by them into certain... RP's.

Yeah. So it'll be a rather jerk thing to do if I just stopped talking to them especially when they didn't really do anything at all. I guess you could say I kinda screwed myself when I started connecting with a crowd I shouldn't have been in in the first place. All I've done here is just form more ties that restrain me even more and keep me from kicking this habit.

Besides all that though, on a much happier note, I have started to read my scriptures again. I can actually already feel some of its blessings from doing so. It's a good start.
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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

Post  Hypērétēs on Wed Aug 03, 2016 10:30 am

Old thread, but I've found that the key to dropping most bad habits is accountability and situational awareness. Don't go to the places where your addiction lives. If you find that your addiction lives on the 'tubes, don't surf the net alone. Do it in public, around your S.O. And be frank and up front with them: if they care about you, they'll help.

If you live alone, an accountability partner is a huge help. The software "Covenant Eyes" is designed to help with that situation. And here's hoping that you've kicked your addiction already.

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Re: Perhaps you guys may understand...

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